Merry Christmas and the ELVES!

Anyone else having a bunk ass time with this facking ELF!!!!

My kids are at the point where we aren't quite sure if they BELIEVE in the jolly fat man or not. My husband and I are convinced that my son knows we are Santa but is scared shitless to call us out on our lifelong lies for fear he gets a shitty present after that. My daughter however lives and breathes for this stuffed little shit that we have to move around every night. The women that made this fictional character up must be rolling in loads of cash that they are collecting in Elves, elf clothing, elf stuffed toys (like reindeer) , elf books, pajamas.. the list goes on. I'm going to lay money on the fact that they don't even have an elf for their home or have to move these assholes around every night making a mess of your clean home in the name of Christmas.

I'm really not against Christmas spirit. It's just that my older kid has developed insomnia along with these wonderful hormones and NEVER EVER sleeps. Last night it was midnight and he was still flopping back and forth in bed. At this point my husband and I were so tired that we were calling not it and getting pissed off at each other for the other one dozing off ,again for fear we forget to move the little pecker head. I have tried to set alarms, all that does is wake me up at the butt ass of dawn and I cant go back to sleep. I would stop doing it all together except for the fact that my daughter is so in love with these little shit disturbers and I could never break her heart like that. Maybe I'm a bit of a grinch.. I don't really give a shit. I am however counting down the hours until I don't have to worry about moving them anymore. YES < THEM!! We have 2 because we have 2 kids, more money for the women that came up with this hairbrained scheme...

However, until my kids come out right and tell me they don't believe anymore, I will continue to soldier on. We do not use the elves to bribe them into good behavior because.. for the most part they are really well behaved. The joy that it brings to my daughters face really is irreplaceable. It really does embody the magic of Christmas when she comes running out to see what they have done. I'm not ready to give up all the magic just yet. Who knows how many more of these magical Christmases I will get, they will soon be too grown up and too cool for matching pj's and letters to Santa. I will continue to move those fuckers around every night, even if it means cleaning toothpaste that the elves used to write with off the bathroom mirror... that I of course just cleaned.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Years to ALL OF YOU!!!

~Rae~